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Joke of the Day
"Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret."
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"The best part of being a supervillain is the freedom to laugh maniacally at all times"
"Count Chocula cereal is the perfect combination of breakfast and fear."
"What do you call a marine with an IQ of 70? General"
"[whispering to date while watching Disney's Three Little Pigs in 1933] This is taking my mind off The Great Depression"
"I like first aid classes its the only time I get to be touched by a caring human."
"four years ago I asked out the woman of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me!!! She said no both times."
"Why is ""Dick"" short for Richard Genes"
"What does the twitter bird drink? Twater!"
"Son,wanking will make you blind.. I said dad, I'm over here"