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Joke of the Day

"[whispering to date while watching Disney's Three Little Pigs in 1933] This is taking my mind off The Great Depression"

"What is another name for the disabled stall in a restroom? A handicrapped zone."

"Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night? Because her hips won't lie."

"What do you call a rich male redhead? A Gingerbread Man. I'll just close the door behind me..."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it."

"Beyonce made a song called ""Single Ladies"" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy"

"Why do German shower-heads have 11 holes? because Jews only have 10 fingers."

"There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea. One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint. They collide... All the survivors were marooned."

"My elderly narcoleptic neighbour burst into tears when I told her Davy Jones had died. I said ""Cheer up, sleepy Jean"""

"Obama's gonna take all your decorative soaps."