181826

Joke of the Day

"[whispering to date while watching Disney's Three Little Pigs in 1933] This is taking my mind off The Great Depression"

"Let's make this bar joke week. Here's one to start: A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"For people who say ""nothing is impossible"", that's crazy. I've been successfully doing nothing for several years now."

"What do you call a Russian with three testicles? Whodyounickabollockoff"

"I like my girls like Shrek... Big boned and with an ass that talks back"

"What are the differences and similarities of flint michigan and the walking dead universe? They are both post apocalyptic but only one produces brand new cars."

"Why are gardeners good at spreading religion. Because they can plant churches."

"Can a dinosaur tell a joke? You bet jur-ass-ic can!"

"How many letters are there in the alphabet? Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T."

"5 years ago when 'House of Cards' started we said, 'That's so scary.' Now Trump is here and we're like, 'hahaha, House of Cards is adorable'"