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Joke of the Day

"My mom told me that I objectify women. When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said ""it didn't work out."" She said ""be more specific."" I said ""I just told you she didn't exercise."""

Next Joke
 
"I gotta stop the filthy double entendre jokes But it's so, so hard"
"What would she do for $20? Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something? A dirty joke? I'm trying to find it but I can't...."
"I don't know what I drank last night, but the vacuum is stuck on top of the house."
"There once was a girl named Sally with no arms.. ""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally"""
"What do you call Minecraft in Germany? NEIN-CRAFT!"
"I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say ""I'm hungry,"" so it died."
"An Eskimo walks into a bakery and orders an apple pie, a cherry pie and a blueberry pie. The baker says, ""sorry, we don't serve Eskimo pies here."""
"[at the mall] ""Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"" ""Of course."" [leans in to mic] ""Goodbye you little shit."""
"Wife wants to hang pictures of our kids in the bathroom. Like they don't already spend enough time in there with us."