43765
Joke of the Day
"I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say ""I'm hungry,"" so it died."
Next Joke
"I like my women how I like my whiskey. 13 years old and mixed up with coke."
"*strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying ""Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"""
"A man told his friend: ""After 12 years of... ...therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"""
"1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos"
"In certain Eastern cultures, it's considered a grave insult to shit all over the floor in someone's home."
"Did you hear that Jim Carrey lost his left arm in a horrific accident? I guess that makes him all-righty then."
"Let's hope no one builds a convenience store inside a volcano because that doesn't seem like it would be convenient at all."
"Have the day off when the SO comes home, ""Have you been on reddit all day!?"" Look at the clock, ""Not yet."""
"GUY WITH TONS OF BLACKLIGHTS AROUND HIS APARTMENT: Hey come on in! GUY WHO LIKES TO RUB CAT URINE ALL OVER HIMSELF: Ummm. Nah I'm good."