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Joke of the Day

"What would she do for $20? Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something? A dirty joke? I'm trying to find it but I can't...."

"Whoever coined the term ""gross profit"" wasn't getting paid for their job."

"How many /r/Jokes mods does it take to change a light bulb? [removed]"

"A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. ""There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."" ""Who shall I call"" her husband asked ""police or ambulance?"""

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were playing chess... The comedy practically writes itself."

"What's the difference between a cat and a politician? A cat will lie *on* your face. A politician will lie *to* your face."

"(Sigh) I must be getting older. I just read a whole book about a giant sperm whale called Moby Dick and I didn't giggle once..."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird? A: A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger."

"What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster spit? ""It's saliva! IT'S SALIIIVA!!!"""

"I tried kombucha for the first time the other day. It made me feel very cultured."