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Joke of the Day

"What do snakes take to combat their allergies? Anti-hissss-tamines!"

"I've started a business building yachts in my attic Sails are going through the roof!"

"Is it a good idea to have multiple PhDs? To a certain degree."

"Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes."

"Press Conference: How do you respond to accusations that you over sexualize everything? Me: *slowly takes entire microphone into mouth*"

"Did you know 94% of Fords are still on the road? The other 6% made it home."

"everything in the world's horrible now not like the good old days of black plague, holocaust, atomic bombs, holodomor, khmer rouge, crusades"

"What has four legs and yells ""Hodi doh, hodi doh?"" Two black guys trying to catch an elevator."

"My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it."

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Hide all that weed because police lights are too."