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Joke of the Day

"[at the mall] ""Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"" ""Of course."" [leans in to mic] ""Goodbye you little shit."""

"I'm fed up with all that Superman crap. He saves old women & extinguish fires, but when he flies over Africa, he pretends he doesn't see us?"

"I had my first PBR and it turns out that the stuff is just beer. It's just beer everyone"

"I'd like to join the Navajo tribe... I hear they've got great fringe benefits."

"If God wanted us to go METRIC Jesus would've had 10 disciples not 12."

"What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine? A puff-adder"

"Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same."

"What did Hannibal Lecter say when he met a sexy Black Panther at a cannibal convention? I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers."

"Vectors Joke When (i) think of crossing with (u) I get my own normal vector, if you know what I mean. ;)"

"My friend left his laptap on the floor in my living room. My other friend thought it was a scale. Conclusion: She weighs $950."