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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't Jelly my dick into you."
Next Joke
"Have you heard of nihilism? Its kind of a Nietzsche philosophy."
"Classic. Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands."
"What do you call a friendly helicopter? A hello-copter"
"What on Earth did the NASA discover? Nothing, it was on Mars"
"My uncle has one leg. He's got a second one as as well. But he also has one"
"My cat scratched me for trapping her under the blankets as I made the bed... I guess she's clawstrophobic."
"What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner? Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already."
"GIRL: l'm tired of bad boys and their bs. I want a good boy, for a change. ME [clearly a golden retriever]: *turns to camera and winks*"
"I've been happily married for 3 years Out of a total of 20."