71245

Joke of the Day

"What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner? Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already."

"Why does North Korea have the highest literacy rate? Because Kim Jong-un is supreme reader!"

"Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion."

"Sorry to all the people my 3yo has yelled at for eating ice cream in a car. Telling him it was illegal was wrong. I know this now."

"What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ? The Baaahaaamaaas !"

"BASEBALL! All the excitement of football squeezed conveniently into 162 five-hour games!"

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band... I'd stand at the back and ting"

"Headache A guy asked his wife how she slept and she said 'not well, I was up in the night with a headache'. 'Funny', he said, 'I don't remember waking up and asking you for sex'."

"What do pirates call fat whores? LAND HO!"

"Google is the #1 company in the world. How about them apples ?"