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Joke of the Day

"My cat scratched me for trapping her under the blankets as I made the bed... I guess she's clawstrophobic."

"What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air? Collecting his thoughts."

"Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation? 0mg"

"When I got my first pube, I left it under my pillow and waited for the pube fairy. And he came. All over my pillow."

"What do you call a white guy who grew up in the ghetto? Tarzan."

"What do you say to a thin American? How's the chemotherapy going?"

"What does a black man do after sex? 15 to life"

"My friend does a weekly bad joke Tuesday... Today's was quite good (Bad?) Yesterday, I made a belt out of old watches. What a complete waist of time."

"What's the difference between the mailman and the priest? The mailman doesn't come on Sunday."

"I once swallowed two separate strings and they came out of my ass tied together. I shit you knot."