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Joke of the Day

"I've been happily married for 3 years Out of a total of 20."

"If you're behind someone at an ATM late night, let them know you're not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck."

"When I play rock paper scissors I always pick Rock because Dwayne Johnson shows up and punches my opponent."

"Rob Ford..too soon? *Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years."

"A woman sits in a bar and orders a cocktail named ""Double Entendre"" So the barkeeper gives it to her."

"Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?"

"Where did the farmer find his missing baby horse? In the foliage."

"What if you had an eye in your asshole? Imagine all the shit you would see..."

"Did you hear about the ambidextrous golfer? He swings both ways."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Sit there and don't stir."