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Joke of the Day

"I always thought soy milk... was just introducing itself in Spanish"

"Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts association, Nice to see a lot of new faces here today."

"Joseph: A crib full of straw? No, I asked to see the MANAGER."

"The worst thing about being told you got Alzheimer... Is it just doesn't happen the once."

"Inspiring to see someone lift himself up by his own bootstraps. But soon you'll wonder what you're doing at a fucking magic show."

"Love is... when you washed your cat and it still comes to you after."

"If she's naming your wedding album on facebook ""wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!"" she's too young for you bro."

"So I've always wanted to try the homosexual thing... ... but I get claustrophobic in tight spaces."

"Did you hear they're making a Source Code 2? It's gonna be called Source Code: The SQL!"

"Why's it taking so long to legalise gay marriage in the whole of the US? I mean, America had four fathers and it turned out alright"