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Joke of the Day

"I was so depressed dat my ATM displayed someone else's balance to cheer me up"

"The church are upset about a new type of Heroin, called ""Jesus"" They hate it when people take the Lord's name in vein."

"How do you reload a cardboard gun? With paper clips."

"Those Islamic's coming to america? Hostages."

"Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job."

"Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times."

"What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good."

"""Well I should probably get off twitter. I have to be at work in 15 minutes and I haven't even showered yet."" - me and at least 100 of you"

"Why did the skull win 1st place in the race? Because he ran ahead."

"Why can't the Muslim crossdresser feed his family? He lost hijab."