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Joke of the Day

"Sit next to stranger on park bench, hand over envelope with random person's picture, whisper ""It has to look like an accident"", walk away."

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"I had to nickname my dick... (NSFW) SunnyD, because kids love it!"
"Realized woman behind me at self-checkout line was from DMV. Made her wait 4 hours for her turn. Revenge is sweet."
"Computers make very fast very accurate mistakes."
"My Indian friend decided to take off his turban Hats off to him."
"You may say the glass is half full or half empty. I say fill the rest of my damn cup!"
"Why does Beyonce sing, ""To the left, to the left!""? Because black women have no rights."
"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meat Pattie"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crock and Dial ! Crock and Dial who ? Crock and Dial Dundee !"
"Tear gas is the saddest gas."