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Joke of the Day

"What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good."

"[speaking at an AA meeting] Me: You'll find the transition from hard liquor to hard drugs expensive, but very rewarding *everyone cheers*"

"Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert? Cus they are always stuffed."

"There's a good chance this chocolate cake will need rape counseling after I'm done."

"My exercise is primarily jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth and pushing my luck."

"Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"I clicked on the ""Random"" link in the navigation bar and it brought me to the Toronto Maple Leafs subreddit Guess I mistakenly clicked on the ""Funny"" link in the navigation bar instead."

"Captain Morgan and Cap'n Crunch awkwardly chat at their naval college class reunion."

"I just want to be rich enough to add bacon without asking how much more it costs."