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Joke of the Day

"""I'd like one personal pizza please"" Pizza: Your life's a mess. You should lose 10 pounds. Call your mother. ""Whoa maybe not that personal"""

"Legally, you don't actually have to ever stop screaming."

"Q: What do you call Robin Hood's mother? A: Mother Hood."

"Ooh. Remove card RAPIDLY, not RABIDLY. I think I owe the lady at pump 2 an apology."

"I'm a shy little Pebble.... I wish to be a little Bolder"

"Las Vegas Floor Show What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts the other has a stunning array of cunts."

"""Hey! You took my daughter's virginity!"" ""Sorry, sir. It won't happen again."""

"If I stop my car for you to walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knee's to chest b!tch , knee's to chest!!!"

"What did the termite say to the chair? .... It was nice knawing you."

"Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill Mrs Brown."