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Joke of the Day

"Las Vegas Floor Show What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts the other has a stunning array of cunts."

"I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts."

"December 26th is the sad day where I have to take the Christmas tree behind the garage and shoot it"

"A man goes to the zoo The only animal at the zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu"

"How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho-path."

"What would /u/doubledickdude's band be called? The Tu-Wang Clan"

"""I like my women like i like my eggs...."" Whites only. (or millions of other one-word punchlines, depending on how dark you want to go.) ""Fertilized"" ""Beat"" ""Rotten"" ""xtra-large"""

"I tried to go into a restaurant playing Pokemon go. I couldn't get in though. The servers were too busy."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today..."

"My master plan is to forget sunglasses at every location in the world so wherever I am I'll always have sunglasses."