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Joke of the Day

"Ooh. Remove card RAPIDLY, not RABIDLY. I think I owe the lady at pump 2 an apology."

"It's nice to see women who don't lose their figures as they grow older. They take such a long time to paint and Warhammer is expensive enough as it is."

"Ants Dancing Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, ""Twist to open."""

"Me: What's w/the ice pack? 12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache? 12: Yes."

"What was the policeman's baby's first words ? Hallo Hallo Hallo !"

"What is a thespian pony? A little horse play!"

"What's DJ Khalid's favorite number? 11, because it has another one."

"Being dark skinned is a CHOICE. In just a few years, through prayer, celebrity Beyonce is almost completely white. You can change too."

"How Many A Cappella Singers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? Twelve. Three to Physically Change the Bulb, Three to Talk About How Complicated it Was and Six to Call themselves Electricians."

"I sneezed and my bra unsnapped. I think this cold is trying to seduce me."