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Joke of the Day

"If I stop my car for you to walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knee's to chest b!tch , knee's to chest!!!"

"Carbs are my starch enemy."

"What do you call a group of Ocelot? An Awful-lot."

"Why is hockey the bloodiest sport? It has three periods."

"I asked my magic 8-ball which email client to use. It told me... Outlook not so good."

"Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization."

"Girl are you Monday because I am not looking forward to seeing you again"

"What don't you want to hear after performing oral sex on Willie Nelson? I'm not Willie Nelson."

"Thought I could put dolphin in my fish pie. Until I noticed I was using all porpoise flour."

"A midget clairvoyant just escaped from prison... ...police are looking for a small medium at large."