90449

Joke of the Day

"Q: When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house? - A: When the door is open."

"A man was arrested for dumping Chinese food on his neighbor's computer He was charged with wonton destruction of property"

"I saw a man struggling in the sea today shouting "" Help, shark! Help!"" I just laughed because I knew the shark wouldn't help him. Heard from my 10 year old cousin."

"Why do fish always sing off key? Because you can't tune a fish. Say it outloud if you don't get it. I made this one up in first grade IIRC."

"""Help, I've lost the remains of an Egyptian pharaoh in a park in South London!"" ""Tooting Common?"" ""No, Neferkheperure-waenre Amenhotep IV."""

"That awkward moment when you die, and all you were trying to do was take a selfie with a lion on a jungle safari.."

"Why do men get erections while they sleep? So they don't accidentally roll out of bed."

"Rumor has it that the Canadian immigration website crashed because.., Amy Schumer was on it"

"Lance Armstrong I hear Lance Armstrong was doping to win the Tour de France again this year."

"Why nuns don't wear bras? God supports everything."