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Joke of the Day

"""Help, I've lost the remains of an Egyptian pharaoh in a park in South London!"" ""Tooting Common?"" ""No, Neferkheperure-waenre Amenhotep IV."""

"The doc gave me some bad news today... I was deficient in VITAMIN U."

"Don't you hate it when sentences don't end the way you think they octopus?"

"I was going to get a cheap circumcision but I realized it was a rip off."

"In the window of a bar in Philadelphia Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even."

"There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke? They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter"

"why do i hear the sounds of toilet flushing? Some shit must be going down"

"I once accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. It was embarrassing and cost a fortune in stamps."

"What program do Jedi use to PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi"

"How did the trout become a symbol for Christianity? Easy. By dropping ""trou"""