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Joke of the Day

"My friends and family treat if as if I'm a god! They don't believe in me"

"When a couple I'm friends with splits up, I always choose sides with the one who won't ask to sleep on my couch."

"5 birds are on a fence, you shoot one, how many are left. None they all flew away."

"You think your day was bad? I just had a 15 minute long argument with a couch cushion."

"How does a West Virginia husband tell if his wife is on the rag? (NSFW) He sucks his son's dick to see if it tastes like shit."

"What do you call a seabird who's easily taken in? Gullible."

"Someone asked me how we usually view lesbians in this country. Apparently, ""usually in HD"" wasn't the answer he was looking for."

"What's the difference between boy scouts and Jews? Boy scouts come back from camp."

"What's E.T short for? His little legs."

"What did Sandy say when she came to New York? I come to this great city with great intentions."