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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between boy scouts and Jews? Boy scouts come back from camp."

"Han Solo asks Yoda, ""Master Yoda, are we going the right way?"" Yoda replies, ""off course, we are"""

"Where do the cleverest parrots live? In the brain tree forests!"

"Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a ""how to eat sandwiches without choking"" course?"

"I couldn't be trusted with a time machine. I'd get killed going back and testing whether or not Velociraptors really could open doors."

"when life gives you lemons, be thankful it didn't give you cancer"

"Did you hear about the guy who was convicted for committing lewd acts on fruit at a grocery store? (Mildly NSFW) He got off on a peel."

"What is the difference between a vacuum and a snowboarder? How you strap on the dirtbag."

"If a puppy stabbed me in the face and stole my car, I'd still be like, ""aww."""

"What do you call a snake's mother? A boa constructor."