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Joke of the Day

"How does a West Virginia husband tell if his wife is on the rag? (NSFW) He sucks his son's dick to see if it tastes like shit."

"What do women and dog poop have in common? The older they are the easier they are to pick up."

"That Old Man An Old man knocked on my door and asked for the donation towards the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water."

"I was sad to lose an arm wrestling match to a woman, but I felt better after I found out she was a man. Then sad again because we had sex."

"Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head? Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow."

"Faving a tweet = Quietly having sex with someone. RTing a tweet = Introducing the person to your friends."

"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but I hear the reception was excellent."

"7yo: MOMMA DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER GET A 6-PACK OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA BE FAT Me: *slowly shreds Pokemon cards w/out breaking eye contact*"

"I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast"

"What do you call a serial bail man. Cereal flakes"