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Joke of the Day

"When a couple I'm friends with splits up, I always choose sides with the one who won't ask to sleep on my couch."

"I need your cheesiest jokes (please) I've had a really awful day and frankly need cheering up. I want to hear your worst, corniest jokes to make me smile."

"Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws."

"Did you hear they found the body of the guy that leaked the Jennifer Lawrence nudes? They say he's the first person ever to be hi-fived to death."

"A drunk homeless guy wanted to fight me yesterday As soon as he kicked me and lost his shoe I could smell defeat."

"Just got a houseplant. Can't wait til it grows a house."

"What did the son corn say to the mama corn? Where's pop corn?"

"Ultimately, even the mighty invincible Achilles was killed with a bowshot to his foot. Time wounds all heels"

"I try to avoid buying into this ""Americans are stupid"" stereotype but, for fuck's sake......"

"Anyone up for a Native American joke? Did you hear about the Indian that drank too much iced tea? He died in his tea pee."