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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked me how we usually view lesbians in this country. Apparently, ""usually in HD"" wasn't the answer he was looking for."

"Thirty years ago, Marco Rubio was bitten by a radioactive doormat."

"What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome I'm sorry"

"When a man sleeps with a lot of women.... ....he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum. -Another gem by Jimmy Carr"

"I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"[first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm an accountant Me: oh nice Date: thanks Me: Date: Me: so how many ants have u counted so far"

"You Can Tune a Piano but You Can't Tuna Fish"

"If you vote for yourself, does something blue appear like when you pee in a pool?"

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto."

"What's so good about an Ethiopian blow-job? You know she'll swallow."