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Joke of the Day

"Kill the time Teacher - How did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or Internet? Smart student - i've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters..."

"Just vacuumed my couch and found 16 bobby pins, 84 cents, 3 kinds of cereal, a spoon and a live hedgehog."

"Airline food is getting worse and worse The passengers on the Germanwings flight said it tasted like they were literally eating rocks."

"According to North Korean press, Kim Jong Il has entered a sleeping contest. Ta-da!"

"What did the captain say to the men before they got on the boat? ""Men, get on the boat."""

"My wife just said ""I'm pregnant!"" I said ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad!"""

"So...Donald Trump was on The View today. I kept rewinding it and watching it trying to spot Elizabeth Hasselbeck's boner."

"What's so ironic about disabled toilets? They're big enough to run around in."

"Just had the following conversation in court Judge: State your name. Me: Not Guilty Judge: What? Me: I had it legally changed. Judge: You're Not Guilty? Me: Thanks, I'm outta here"

"Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples."