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Joke of the Day

"What's so ironic about disabled toilets? They're big enough to run around in."

"I went for a ride on my Vespa and nearly got hit by a Prius. That would've gone down in history as the gayest wreck EVER."

"What's the difference between a pest and vermin? Walt Disney."

"Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters? Because a Lannister always pays his debts."

"""He is survived by his poop and three hineys."" - obituary for the inventor of Mad Libs"

"What do you call the procedure that is done when a woman wants to become a man? An Adadictomy"

"I plan to retire at 30. The used tire business is just calling my name."

"Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad."

"TIL that in some states, graffiti vandals are fined $100-200 per letter. So if you make a whole bunch of letters, you could end up with a hefty sentence."

"I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it."