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Joke of the Day

"Just had the following conversation in court Judge: State your name. Me: Not Guilty Judge: What? Me: I had it legally changed. Judge: You're Not Guilty? Me: Thanks, I'm outta here"

"My friend told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said Maaaybe"

"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"

"What's the difference between a New Yorker and a Canadian? A New Yorker takes the A train; a Canadian takes the train, eh."

"Last autumn, a nice flower salesmen sold me some poppies in some cool cylinders. Oh boy! Two more months and here I come, fall opiate tubes!"

"Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his daddy was a mummy"

"Han: Leave us alone, you fat slug! Jabba: *speaks Huttese* C-3PO: The mighty Jabbs says your words are hurtful. He has a thyroid problem."

"Guy at the Apple store suggested I turn off my phone once a week, so I slapped his face and ran out of the store crying."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Let's go ride bikes!"

"a man walks into a bar he had a concussion and died"