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Joke of the Day

"My wife just said ""I'm pregnant!"" I said ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad!"""

"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."

"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."

"A pregnant woman came in looking for a girly stroller So I kicker her in the stomach."

"Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life."

"What is the best way to lose money? A: Lend it to Greece."

"What Olympic event that involves throwing should be eliminated? Discuss"

"How does Ohm conduct an orchestra? Standing on his head!"

"Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

"I am a 60 year old stuck in an 8 year old body . I want to break free . I should've used more lube."