50890

Joke of the Day

"The Cheesiest Joke I Know What did the cracker say to the slice of cheddar? ""Say, you're looking mighty sharp today!"" To which the cheddar replied, ""Fuck you, white boy."""

"I must have a great body... Everyone keeps saying ""What an ass"" as soon as I walk away."

"Nothing makes me feel more ""white collar"" than when I'm nodding my head at someone pointing to a line graph that I know nothing about."

"I can't believe I didn't get an Oscar nomination for my performance in, ""No, I never got your text!"""

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, Teach a man to phish and he'll empty an old woman's savings account."

"What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time? A crustacean :D :D"

"For someone who said ""Correct me if I'm wrong..."" you seemed genuinely surprised and upset when I did."

"[doctor hands wife urn] Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband didn't make it. ""Nooo!"" she cries. Oh, he's fine. But he didn't make this lovely urn."

"New rule: Confederate States don't get to pick who sings ""God Bless America"". We'll fly someone in from up north."

"Look, if you didn't want to go to prison you should've started a war or destroyed the economy. But you downloaded a movie, you felon"