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Joke of the Day

"I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please."

"Amputees can be pretty stubborn. You've really got to hand it to them."

"My doctor diagnosed me as a delusional. Edit: Thanks for my first ever Reddit gold, stranger!"

"Why did the worker get fired from the hp computer factory? He threw out all the computers with ""dy"" on them."

"Why does Hillary Clinton secretly want to lose the election? Because if she wins, she'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."

"A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat The bartender says ""Put that back you thief!"""

"Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine? A: Nobody knows, but whatever it is, it knits its own sweaters."

"I have a rare muscle disease that causes my hands to write racist things that I don't remember later. The Doctor is calling it Ron Palsy"

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but the bulb has to really want to change."