206613

Joke of the Day

"Look, if you didn't want to go to prison you should've started a war or destroyed the economy. But you downloaded a movie, you felon"

"What started feminism? An unlocked kitchen door"

"I went on a date with a Vacuum Salesperson last night... It sucked."

"What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked? A witch."

"If you wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt you can walk into any RadioShack and start working."

"There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are also sharks, giant isopods, oil spills, Flight 370, and Somali pirates."

"I can never talk about religion... ...no one understands me when I tell them i'm a Dyslexic Santaist."

"Five out of six people are okay with Russian Roulette... ... The sixth one loves it to death."

"What does pubic hair and parsley have in common? You just push them both aside and keep on eating."

"Two tomatoes were sitting in a fridge... One tomato says to the other: 'Ain't it cold?' And the other replies: 'HOOOOOLY SHIT, A SPEAKING TOMATO!!!'"