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Joke of the Day

"Nothing makes me feel more ""white collar"" than when I'm nodding my head at someone pointing to a line graph that I know nothing about."

"""Frequently Asked Questions"" is the most cheerfully passive-aggressive page of any website."

"Breaking News: Siamese twins sign for Man United."

"""Brokeback Mountain"" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard."

"How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it!"

"Just so we're on the same page, I'm on 137."

"Perspective is everything. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the live lobsters in the ship's galley."

"Did you hear what happened after an Iranian mullah walked head-first into an airplane propeller? The shi'ite really hit the fan."

"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."

"You know what really grinds my gears? When I shift into third without using the clutch."