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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time? A crustacean :D :D"

"My girlfriend feels she needs 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in her shower & if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor"

"I called the rape hotline today Apparently it's only for victims"

"My little cousin dropped this one on me: Me: Wow, you must've grown a foot since the last time I saw you! Cosin: Nope, still have two!"

"Why can a nose not be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot!"

"Have you been shopping for a dishwasher lately? I have Juan on sale."

"How does a Russian catch fish? A niet!"

"Hey, did you all hear about the Muslim space program? Yeah, me neither."

"Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that's all you'll have to make your kids think you're cool."

"Facebook should add a hug and kiss button that way people can have a little foreplay before getting poked."