35180

Joke of the Day

"They say that when you put your ear next to a vagina... You can actually *smell* the ocean!"

"What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian? A half decent person."

"I wasn't planning on sleeping with that alchemist, but one thing Pb to another..."

"Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend."

"I like the show on fox news where there are 4 conservative idiots yelling at one liberal idiot."

"For all of those that think alcohol is a problem... according to Chemistry: Alcohol is a solution. Thanks science!"

"JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you! ME: do u count? JM: what ME: you're a ghost. Do u count? JM: dude this the kinda shit they don't like"

"girl are u my neighbor's wifi? cuz u have a stupid name and im having trouble connecting"

"Where do you go to meet the best fish? It doesn't matter - any old plaice will do."

"I was thinking of opening up a restaurant that only serves burnt pizza its called Pompie"