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Joke of the Day

"JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you! ME: do u count? JM: what ME: you're a ghost. Do u count? JM: dude this the kinda shit they don't like"

"How did AL Gore program his computer? With the proper al-gor-ithms"

"Oreo A little white kid goes & stands in between 2 black kids and says : Look mommy, ""Oreo biscuit !!!"""

"The Best Part of Waking Up is Friends Who Don't Know Each Other Arguing In Your Comments on Facebook"

"School buses are the clock blockers of my morning commute."

"WIFE: I can't believe you slept with my twin thinking it was me ME: Cut me some slack he was wearing your perfume"

"A Roman walks into a bar... Holds up two fingers and asks for five drinks."

"NutFlick and Chill"

"Enter new password <glovebox> Must contain number <glovebox1> Must contain PHONE number <no> Please ;) <no u creep> Password not recognized"

"A priest asked a convicted murderer at the electric chair: ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replied the murderer ""will you please hold my hand?"""