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Joke of the Day

"girl are u my neighbor's wifi? cuz u have a stupid name and im having trouble connecting"

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"I recently found out my blood type is A+ However, in my tests I only get B or less. Doesn't success run in my blood?"

"If you want to relate to how old people probably feel just imagine that a bowl of soup cost $40 and everybody else acted like that was fine."

"What do you do to a chemist after they die? You Barium"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Strong and black."

"Dear Alcohol We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."

"Hey, people who upload full movies to YouTube, get a life! Also, thank you!"

"I'm feeling sluggish No one pour salt on me."

"I was going to get a cheap circumcision but I realized it was a rip off."