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Joke of the Day

"When I leave a plane, I tighten the belts before I leave so that whoever sits there next will think ""wow, whoever sat here was very thin""."

"This joke didn't just happen by chance It was punintentional"

"The difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler. Usain Bolt managed to finish a race while Hitler couldn't."

"A girl came up to me the other day... and told me she saw me at the vegan club but I never saw herbivore."

"Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work."

"The human body is 98% water. So I'm not fat, Just well hydrated."

"What did the tailor say after a job well done? There is nothing left too loose."

"Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta."

"Do you want to here a joke about TCP Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it?"

"What do you call a furiously masturbating dinosaur? A Velocifapper."