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Joke of the Day

"A girl came up to me the other day... and told me she saw me at the vegan club but I never saw herbivore."

"What do r/jokes subscribers and Catholic priests have in common? Both think the shorter the better."

"""On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge."" - my advice to new teachers"

"Best Joke Ever... This US presidential election. Yup, I went there..."

"What happened when fire and the wheel were invented? People got lit and turnt."

"What sport are Mexicans best at? Cross country."

"Maybe I'm just drunk, but this toilet looks alot like my neighbors car."

"I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high."

"I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition."

"When Bill Gates feels like a million bucks, he's having a crappy day."