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Joke of the Day

"Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta."

"What did one wall say to the other wall? Lets meet in the corner!"

"My dad always told me... Always B sharp and B natural, but never B flat. Safe to say, I'm a terrible musician. Thanks a lot, dad."

"I challenged a guy to a game of Pool. ""The winner gets to sleep with my girlfriend,"" I declared. Boy, did he look smug when he won. Jokes on him though, I don't have a girlfriend."

"""The garbage needs to go out. It's full of candy wrappers."" ""Is Eminem in there?"""

"Did you hear about the convict who refused to take a nap? He was resisting a rest."

"Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said ""I don't know about you but I can smell carrots!"""

"trump is putting everyone who works at goldman sachs in the government so that there's no one left to run GS and they go out of business"

"I've decided to be outraged about straws too flimsy to punch through their own wrappers. Time to blog."

"Why is crack a ""Rock""? Because it's as hard to get off as Alcatraz."