45794

Joke of the Day

"The difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler. Usain Bolt managed to finish a race while Hitler couldn't."

"So two cannibals are eating dinner... The first turns to the second man and says ""Wow, your wife sure does make a great roast!"" The second replied ""I know, I'm really gonna miss her."""

"They told us to get in formation So, I started investigating."

"What do you say to pick up Adele at a bar You had me at *hello*"

"I fake the art of fainting so well my favorite restaurant now refers to me as ""Low Blood Sugar Girl"" while rushing my limp body to a table."

"So my dentist says to me... So my dentist says to me, ""you're the cleanest patient I've had all week!"" Then I respond, ""Wow I deserve a plaque!"" This literally just happened. She lost it."

"Hey! I got a new job working in quality control at a knickers factory! I'll be pulling down about 800 a week."

"A man called Knock Knock knocks on a door: Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? ..."

"I went to the zoo the other day, There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu."

"My daughter told me I'm ""slightly prettier than Ben Franklin,"" so I have that going for me."