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Joke of the Day

"I bought my nephew a drum set because: A) I'm an awesome uncle B) Learning to play an instrument is important C) I hate my sister"

"If Mt Vesuvius erupted over us right now, there'd be lots of shapes of people looking at their phones later on."

"Spanish for wife - ""esposa"" Spanish for handcuffs - ""esposas"" Well played, Spanish"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't like my pizza burnt."

"What does a Mermaid bring to math class? An algae-bra."

"Sorry you stood next to me at the urinal in sandals, bro. What did we learn?"

"What happens when Niagara trips? Niagara Falls"

"My friend asked me how I know the smell of a wet dog since I'm a Muslim and can't have one I told him my girlfriend is a Christian."

"What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients? ex-spearmints"

"Hey girl, I'm no doctor but I can diagnose your condition... You have acute butt"