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Joke of the Day

"I bought my nephew a drum set because: A) I'm an awesome uncle B) Learning to play an instrument is important C) I hate my sister"

"What did the asian couple name their black baby? Sum sing wong"

"One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. ""Tie me up,"" she purred, ""And you can do anything you want."" So he tied her up and went golfing."

"If you use your alarm to look for your car in a parking lot someone will eventually help you find it by yelling ""It's over here you idiot!"""

"Man, my car is so fast, it could outrun a man combined with a horse ""You mean Centaur, right?"" Ohhh somebody went to college ooohh"

"When someone asks you if you've met their kids... ... it turns out that the proper reply is NOT ""Yes, heheh."""

"Young man cashier: Ma'am, if you don't mind me saying, you have really beautiful eyes. What I heard: Ma'am"

"Emotions are like farts... You can only hold them in for so long."

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full I heard this on a radio show and thought it was worth sharing"

"""Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist."" It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse."