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Joke of the Day

"""Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist."" It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse."

"The fact acceptance movement and the French Revolution are very similar. People losing their heads over eating cake."

"Why do pirates like birthday parties? Doubloons."

"How are peanut butter and jelly related? They're inbred"

"How to make a grown man cry. Take him shopping with you."

"Throw shit at a person, you are their enemy. Throw shit at a plant, you are their hero. source: r/Showerthoughts/"

"Hey brotherrrr (by Avicii) There's an endless road to be disMOTHERed! Lmao"

"Survivor would be a cooler show if only one contestant remained alive at the end of the season and that was the prize."

"The Foo Fighters wrote my favorite song about throwing up lunch There goes my hero!"

"I lost my new underwear... ...I only wore them briefly."