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Joke of the Day

"""Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist."" It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse."

"Congratulations Apple on releasing the new 6s I bet it's going to be a big 6s."

"""You know that's not even a word, right?"" I said, condescendingatively"

"What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Somewhere between 0 and infinity."

"Doctor Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee Have you tried taking the spoon out?"

"If her weight ends in ounces she's too young for you bro"

"I figured out why we abbreviate BlowJob with BJ 'cuz it's a mouthful"

"Hillary and Huma Hillary Clinton likes Huma Abedin who is married to Anthony Weiner which would make her Huma Weiner. That means that Hillary likes a Weiner which means that she is not gay."

"[please enter a password] ilovedogs [password must contain at least one capital] iloveparisdogs"