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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full I heard this on a radio show and thought it was worth sharing"

"Waiter: how do you want your burger? Me: *points to girl at another table not taking a picture of her dinner* that rare"

"What do you call someone who cuts down trees? A lumberjack, you fucking idiot."

"""It's a-WE, Mario."" - Peach, shortly before the divorce"

"Do Not Be Racist ..... Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew"

"I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them."

"What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out? Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)"

"Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans can't milk a cow for 14 years"

"Analysts are suprised Chris Christie ran for president in the first place They thought he'd walk"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."