27730

Joke of the Day

"If you use your alarm to look for your car in a parking lot someone will eventually help you find it by yelling ""It's over here you idiot!"""

"Never treat someone like Coca-Cola when they treat you like Pepsi."

"King George. One day George is going to be king, thats not bad going for some one who started at Asda."

"How does a train eat? It goes chew chew!"

"Yo momma so poor... that ducks throw bread at her. I fucking lost my shit at a [6]!"

"How to calm a crying baby: 1. Pick it up. 2. Ok, so when it turns like 5 you can put it back down. Good luck."

"Dating your Ex again is like buying your clothes back from Goodwill. There's a reason you got rid of it in the first place."

"Why is French body armour so cheap? They only need it for their back"

"What's the difference between a man and a woman? A vas deferens."

"When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people."