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Joke of the Day

"Young man cashier: Ma'am, if you don't mind me saying, you have really beautiful eyes. What I heard: Ma'am"

"Without nipples... ... Breasts would be pointless."

"What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up? A reptile dysfunction"

"My girlfriend told me stop singing wonderwall. I said maaaaybe...."

"Did you hear about the Crucifixion victims? They're screwed up."

"What do you get when someone refuses to pay the bills? A Greek."

"What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast? gingerbread"

"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open""."

"My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to reheat the leftover turkey from last night's NYE dinner. I told her I quit hot food, cold turkey"

"How come the dog never finished his game? He was stuck on paws. Forgive me reddit senpai"