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Joke of the Day

"My 6 month old daughter told me this joke.... but its not funny so i won't waste your time. kids aren't funny you guys nobody cares if they told you a lame joke"

"That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?"

"One from france Do you know why 50% of women on earth will never have an orgasm? Well I can't be everywhere at the same time."

"What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat lady at the bar? I don't hate this bar, but I pity the stool."

"When the president is lonely what does he say? I'm Obama-self."

"Her: Oh, please... You'll make a pass at anything in a skirt. Me: Yeah, last night a Scotsman nearly killed me!"

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? U. Because U keep reposting this joke."

"Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom Me: I'll take care of it *raises spider like one of my own* *has a little cry when it graduates*"

"How do you make a woman scream twice? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on her curtains."

"When is a door not a door? When it's AJAR!"