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Joke of the Day

"When is a door not a door? When it's AJAR!"

"I went out with a girl last week, she told me she wanted to be 'treated like a Princess'... So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove it into a wall."

"i once heard that in the old days, you received a last name based on your profession. if so, what the hell was John Hancock's career?"

"There is nothing worse than a broke ass high maintenance woman."

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle ? Somebody took a corner !"

"what is a ghosts favorite lunch meat? Boo-loney :D"

"Can I play Piano? A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before!"

"FRIEND: OMG I'm so glad to get away from my kids for a bit ME: haha yeah I don't think I'll ever have kids FRIEND: no it's the best"

"How do your organize a space party? You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)"

"My girlfriend told me she is sick of me quoting movies all the time I said quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn"