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Joke of the Day

"Her: Oh, please... You'll make a pass at anything in a skirt. Me: Yeah, last night a Scotsman nearly killed me!"

"I built a staircase using an online tutorial! When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step."

"What does Rolf Harris like to play with on the piano? A minor."

"How does a black man win Father of the year?NSFW He pays for the abortion."

"The cool thing about being happy is you get to live in crippling fear that it will all go away soon"

"Dating is like a 2-day-old box of chocolates. The good ones are already taken."

"If a shark is ever attacking me I'm gonna be like where are your parents do they know you act like this"

"Did you hear about the Indian that drank 50 cups of Tea? He drowned in his Tea Pee."

"What's the difference between a camel and a Russian? A camel can walk for 30 days without drinking but a Russian can drink for 30 days without walking."

"They say great things come in small packages But I assure you my thing is still pretty good."